I don't want to give in but this is bad. How can drinking milk make you shake so much? I am going to have to tell the bf that I don't feel well because he is definitely going to notice this.
I am going to go and drink some water and then have a shower to try and normalise myself before he comes home. I will never get away with this at work but I am hoping by Monday it will have calmed down a bit and might not be as noticeable.
If the worst comes to the worst I guess I will go sick and then I won't have to fuck it all up.
Apart from punching myself in the stomach which I refuse to do, does anyone have any tips about making your belly quiet? Someone told me that antacid might work but I don't know if this has calories and also will it mess up my diet?
Oh no, I feel hungry but I still have half a cup of milk from 13:00 so I will down that and maybe it will stop. Another huge belly rumble. This is no good at all. I might as well put a sign around my neck saying "I am starving myself" Shit! My belly never usually rumbles like this. I am a freak. I can't let my colleagues hear this. Maybe it will pass by Monday. I hope so.
Remember guys that I have worked this out for soya milk and meat alternatives so it is only a rough guide for anyone else. I have used the exact calories that I will consume. Even weighed out my apples lol!
Day One: 467 CALORIES
Day Two: 441 CALORIES
Day Three: 433 CALORIES
Day Four: 433 CALORIES
Day Five: 399 CALORIES
Day Six: 482 CALORIES
Day Seven: 350 CALORIES
Day Eight: 425 CALORIES
So what does anyone think. It looks like a huge amount of calories to me and the claims that people have lost 16lbs now seem to be unlikely. Has anyone tried it or know anyone that has? I am going to stick to it but I can't believe how many calories you need. Yuck!
If anyone wants to find more info there is a website here http://anabones.wetpaint.com/page/Milk+D
CROSS POSTED AGAIN SORRY!
Alright so I am on Day One of the 8 day Ana Milk Diet. Info can be found here http://anabones.wetpaint.com/page/Milk+D
My plan for today is
07:00 1 CUP OF SOYA MILK
10:00 1 CUP OF SOYA MILK
13:00 1 CUP OF SOYA MILK
16:00 1 CUP OF SOYA MILK
19:00 1 CUP OF SOYA MILK
21:00 1 CUP OF SOYA MILK
Simple huh?! I am on my third cup now and I am feeling fine. Not hungry at all and feeling quite good. I am a little shaky but I am always a little shaky because I abuse my body so much I think.
Tomorrow is a bit different because I have less milk and some fruit. I never usually drink milk so it is a bit of a novelty for me! I am going to be getting so much calcium! I am still taking all of my supplements to try and have some goodness.
The bf is working until late tonight so he will not notice that I haven't eaten. Great! I just worry a bit about what I will be like next week at work but I guess I will just wait and see. Surely if I make sure I drink lots of water I will be alright.
I am so excited because I love fad/crash diets and this is one I have not tried so it might be amazing and even if it isn't I must get some results from it.
My calorie intake today on the milk is 467 which seems quite high but I guess that because the calories are in milk it works out ok. Maybe the body uses it up quicker and more efficiently. Also I suppose that it is only that high because I am drinking a lot of milk today.
That has made me feel a bit crappy now. 467 is so much. I am going to work out the calories each day for the whole diet and post them in another post to see if it looks alright.
If anyone else has any further info or advice then I would love to hear it.
I will try to post my progress and thoughts daily but I don't know what things are going to be like from Monday when I start at my new workplace. I am dreading that. Meeting new people when I am so fat is not good.
CROSS POSTED GUYS, SORRY!
IF ANYONE WANTS TO JOIN ME ON THE MILK DIET THEN GIVE ME A SHOUT. STARTING SATURDAY 26TH JULY 2008.
Alright so I made it through the week of having my bf here 24/7. I find it so hard because he has known me through my "anorexia" and "bulimia" and then to my "recovery". He is of the opinion that if I am eating then everything is alright. Because of this he encourages massive unhealthy binges. He has no concept of the idea that this triggers fasting, restriction, purging and shame in me. Now that he is back at work I am planning out my way to balance out the harm I have caused. I am starting at my new workplace on Monday so I know I can't do the ABC, I would risk passing out at work and the drive would be dangerous. Still part of me is desperate just to do it. I don't know what to do. I have to do loads of fitness assessments soon and I won't have the energy if I starve myself but I don't really care. Maybe I should just do a 4 day fast and then serious restricting after that. Yes, I think that is the answer.
I hate being such a fat repulsive blob. Where have my bones gone?
It is lunch time now and I am really hungry. I need to go to the shop and get some cigarettes and I am really nervous about what will happen. I am not fasting today, I am just restricting and I am doing really good again but it all feels on a knife edge.
Sometimes I go to the shop and I am fine and other times I end up coming home with loads of shitty food to binge on and I don't even enjoy it. Maybe I should just go there and see how strong I can be. I have to go because I can't do without my cigarettes.
I want to weigh myself so bad. I think I will in a minute and then it might stop me from eating anything. Ok, here goes.
CW : 180lbs
HW : 195 lbs
GW1: 105 lbs
75 lbs to go
Oh I am so pleased. That is 15lbs in two weeks that I have lost. Amazing. I am going to lose the rest of this weight so quickly and then people will not even recognise me.
I will be able to look into the mirror at myself without wanting to die. I am so happy. Got to keep going now.
I will not fail.
This is not going to be some bullshit journal where I pretend to be some anorexic girl who weighs 70lbs but I will never post a picture. I am a fat woman, an obese woman, a woman who looks in the mirror every day and feels physically fucking sick about what she sees. I have decided to do something about this but I know it will take time because I am so fat.
I started off two weeks ago at about 195lbs. I have lost 13lbs in two weeks and now weigh about 182lbs. I have done this through a combination of starvation, excessive dieting, laxative abuse, restriction, fasting and low calorie eating.
I plan to continue with this unhealthy lifestyle until I reach about 105lbs. When I reach 105lbs I am going to set myself a goal weight dependent on how I look then.
I am not anorexic, nor am I bulimic. I have no problems with people that suffer from eating disorders. In fact I guess that I must have an eating disorder of some description but I don't care what it is.
For those of you who read my journal and disagree with what I am doing, please just move on. I am not forcing anyone to read this and I don't want to influence anyone so don't bother slating me, just go somewhere else.
I hope that eventually through this site I will meet some like minded people who want to lose a lot of weight fast, I would love to make some friends.
I will be posting very regularly because I want to use this to assist me, even if nobody reads it. Maybe I will speak to some of you soon and hopefully you can watch my progress.
Tiny
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